I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize