Taylor Swift is so right about you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
