yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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