i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
