I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize