Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize