I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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