All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
