Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
