u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
