Dignity is for republicans.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
