what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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