I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
