Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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