Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
