Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
