Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
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