Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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