Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
