i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
