I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
