I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
