it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
