I need help removing her.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
