I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
