Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Ladies don't puke and tell
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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