Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize