bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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