you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
