I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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