you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
