I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
