Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize