so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
