he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
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