I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
