Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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