How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
