You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
