There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
