I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
