im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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