Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
