Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
