gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
