She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
