Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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