Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
