i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
