Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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