they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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