people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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