Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
