Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize