I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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