Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
