she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
