Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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