haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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