trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
