Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
