I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
