Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
