I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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