God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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