So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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