his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it's great music for shaving your balls
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
