My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
