White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
