At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
