listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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