She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize