so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
