is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
