I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
