I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
