so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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