: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
