So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
