i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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