Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
