Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
