i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
