That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
