??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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